Brush Stroke with Water
by PlanetOfTheWeepingWillow
Summary: Toris has known Felix his entire life. Now, on a cold winter day, he wonders if he could take it a step further.


The room echoed with the sounds of yelling and splashing children. A smell of chlorine drenched the expansive area, clinging to the tiled floors and rising from the glittering blue pool. Outside snow swirled down in heavy masses, creating a violent contrast between the warmth inside and the chill outside. I sat on the edge of one lane. Next to me Felix had his thin arms folded beneath his chin, reclining against the edge of the pool. He looked at me with a smile. His hair was tied back and clinging to his neck with water. I could see fine silver droplets clinging to the edge of his nose.

"Why won't you swim with me?" he asked playfully.

I shrugged. My boxers clung to my thighs. The fine hairs along my legs turned darker in the water. My top half was slightly chilled. Maybe it was from staring out the window and watching the snow.

"I don't want to." I told him.

He sighed. He wore a one-piece swimming suit, the kind women wore. It was blue. The back dipped down, exposing the sharp buttons of his spine. He was beautiful in the gray light. Anyone would have thought he was a young girl. His long legs spilled behind him, lazily kicking the water.

"How about we swim for one round? You know how to swim. I've seen you do it before."

I shook my head. "I don't want to."

"You'll wait here, then. I'll go swim for a bit." He didn't wait for a response. His slim body twisted and shot away from me. I regarded the rest of the pool. We were in a rectangular space for classes and competitions. Now no one was training, it was an exercise station for people who didn't want to swim with the feisty children in the round pool next to it. I noticed a woman in that pool, standing in the shallow end. She had a bikini bathing suit, the color of stone. She held a toddler in her arms. The toddler hit the water. She was patient. She taught her how to swim. By the time Felix made two round the toddler could already tread water for several seconds.

Felix took five more laps and stopped before me. His long fingers curved against the edge, as before. Except now his fine chin and nose were pointed up at me, soaked. His eyelashes were matted, looking like eye shadow against bright green irises. Felix, my best friend, reached up and grabbed my arm. The tense muscles along my strong bones tightened as I pulled back. He laughed shrilly and tried to trick me into falling in. I didn't. I remained firmly seated. I did _not _want to swim. I told him this. I must have said it more darkly than I intended. He stopped and looked hurt. I frowned.

"Something's wrong." He stated. "Does it have to do with him?"

"No, I'm just a little troubled."

Felix sighed. He pulled himself out of the water and stood before me, heavy droplets running down his legs and flat belly. I stood and followed him. He went to one of the benches and picked up his towel. As he dried himself off, I shook my legs free of moisture, like a dog. Felix laughed at me and I couldn't help but smile, gently. I felt eyes on me, so I turned to find the source. I discovered a group of teenage girls watching me. I was once told my smile was very shy and quiet, measured. I suppose these girls noticed. I blushed and turned back, causing them to chatter and walk away. Felix wrapped the towel around his waist. As he turned to go to the lockers, his slender hand swung at his side. I reached over and grabbed it, lacing my fingers with his. He was my best friend. I could do that. He pulled me along, padding down the halls. A cold breeze greeted us. He began to shiver. The rest of the building was for exercise equipment. We often went there during the winter.

The lockers along the walls had no locks. No one worried about thieves. Felix found out space and pulled a large green bag from inside. We went to one of the family dressing rooms, with a shower. I washed my legs and pulled my swimming trunks off while Felix spread the clothes out on the counter. He placed his hairbrush on the side along with his underwear and shampoo. When I finished and toweled my legs dry, I put on briefs, a sweater, jeans, and socks. I sat down and waited for Felix to finish. Then I would put my shoes on. I felt warm after a quick shower. Felix didn't mind if I watched while he bathed. His nudity didn't bother him. He turned his back on me. There were no curtains or doors between the shower space and the rest of the compact room. His back was straight and clean, a shiny white space I wanted to run my hands down, like a stature made of ivory. He stretched and washed his hair. Suds ran down his neck and hair. He hummed as he washed. When he finished and was dressed in red pants and a turtleneck shirt, over women's lingerie, we left.

He held the bag over one shoulder and gripped it with his other hand. His keys hung from his finger. I held his other hand. We walked outside, under a canopy. Snow continued to drift down lazily. I felt cold. Felix took out our jackets and we went to the car to drive home.

In the car Felix put in a CD for us to listen to. He drove, his manicured nails tapping against the steering wheel. I watched the sky roll by. It was gray and dismal, even though it was hardly three in the afternoon. I sighed, letting each particle of my being breathe and relax. I liked Felix's car. It smelled of him and was comfortable.

At home in our apartment we ate and then settled on the couch to watch a movie. He placed his head against my shoulder, a mug of hot cocoa in his hand and a cup of tea in mine. The movie was about a girl who lived alone in an apartment somewhere in New York. Each day her life would be the same dream: she would wake, eat, work, return, eat again, and so on. Soon she thought she couldn't handle being alone anymore so she looked for love. She found several people she had an affair with but it never lasted. She wanted a friend instead. She found one and it ended. The movie was quiet and done with mostly soft, muffled music. When she spoke it was brief and clear. When she walked we could hear her heels click. We could hear the air conditioner run in her room and the cars rumble in the streets, but not much else unless music was playing. Even in the scenes where she made love we could only hear something like the faucet dripping water or a heart beating. I thought it was creepy. Felix thought it was artsy. I ran my hand through his hair.

"What's the movie called?" I asked.

Felix disentangled himself from me and the blanket he had thrown over us. Night was beginning to settle. He set the mug on the glass coffee table and went to the DVD player. "It's called _Brush Stroke with Water_. What a weird title." He put it back in its box. The box had the title across the front. Beneath that was a picture of the main character smiling. The rest was white. I thought it was some sort of artsy crap, again.

"Where'd you get it?"

"I was in the store and I found it on the shelf. It was a dollar ninety-nine and I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to buy it. I think it was a good buy." He said. "Want to watch another movie?"

I shrugged. "Do you have any more of those types of movies?" Something about them intrigued me. Or maybe I wanted to hold him in my arms again. He nodded. Felix was good at finding strange movies and art. Behind the television a picture hung. It was a picture of a woman asleep in the sky. She used a cloud as a hammock and a single star hung over her head. Her hair spilled over the cloud. I thought I could see her breathing gently and I thought I could feel the breeze of a warm summer day.

Felix didn't ask. He just put the next disk right in. He showed me the cover. It was weird. It had no title across the front. It was a man kneeling against a harbor, staring out into a gray sea. His background was as if someone had rubbed a weak eraser against a pencil sketch, dimming the colors, but somehow keeping the image intact. He was the only stroke of color. His hair was flaxen and his jacket blue. He had something in his hands but I couldn't make it out. Felix returned and sat next to me.

"Have you seen this movie before?" I asked, pressing my lips to his hairline. He smelled of almonds and lilacs. He curled up next to me. I felt his hand snake into my own and he pressed my palm.

I thought this movie was all right. It was about a man who went to the sea each day with a flower. He would leave a flower in the sea, letting it drift off. He was the only character who had color. When the flower drifted off he would say that it was for his wife. He said he was waiting for his wife to rise from the sea or something. It was unclear. When it ended I stared at the screen. The credits rolled by. It was made by three people: the main actor (who wrote and directed the short film), a single-person grip, and an editor. For that amount of people I thought it looked nice as an independent film, even if I didn't understand it. I looked at Felix for an answer. He slunk off the couch.

The DVD slid out of the system. Felix took it and gingerly placed it in his box.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He was challenged, I think," Felix said, "He had some sort of dilemma that caused him to think something was happening. Aside from that he was a normal guy, just destroyed by his wife's death. The wife may or may not be real."

"How do you know he was all right otherwise?"

"Did you see the scene when he talked on the phone? He was relaxed and very smart."

"Oh."

Felix nodded. He stretched, raising his arms skywards. Outside the snow had stopped. Now it was night, and very cold. The streetlamps made the snow look like gold. Our apartment was on the lower levels, and so I could see the ground from where I sat, at a diagonal. I could also see a pair of men playing cards. The light hung over their heads and the blinds were pulled back. In the cell above them the blinds were shut tight. I didn't know what happened there. I didn't really want to. Let people be, I thought.

"Something's up." Felix said. He stood before me. He turned the TV off with the remote and began picking up the cups. He yawned as he did so.

"What do you mean?"

"You're off. You look tired. Did something happen yesterday while I was at the doctor's office?" Felix went to the kitchen and set aside the cups. The sink ran. I could hear him scrub them clean. I wondered if I lived alone how clean the space would be. Felix was tidy when he wanted to be. Our apartment was usually spotless. Our clothing was washed at the cleaners next door, which was cheap. We ate simply. Felix didn't like excess fat. He usually didn't cook meat. When he craved it he didn't hesitate. "My body knows what it wants" he had said. He cooked Polish meals usually. We had a routine. When he cooked I cleaned and when he cleaned I cooked. We kept it that way. He worked at a better job than I did. We had enough money. If either of us decided to marry we could. We didn't want to. We were content together.

The day before Felix went to the doctor and I went to work. We were visited by a strange man. I told Felix this.

"What did he look like?" He asked, concerned.

"I didn't see him."

He didn't ask anything else. He knew better than to ask too much of me when I felt this way. We shut the lights off and went to the bedroom. I dressed in pajamas. I could hear Felix applying lotion to his hands. He took good care of his body. I only did the basics and splashed water on my face. He took all the liberties to make his skin shine and his hair full. I thought about this and how he could handle being near me. When he returned he cuddled up to me, his locks spilling on my shoulder. I held him closer. The green light of the alarm clock turned the circular space into an ethereal part of the world. I wanted to vanish into it. I wanted to remain in this winter with Felix on our day off forever.

Sleep washed over me like waves, gently drowning me. Felix's breathing was even. I could feel his warm breath against my neck. Felix was my best friend. Now he would be my lover. I opened my eyes. All sense of sleep evaporated. I looked at Felix, he was barely awake. I leaned my head and placed my lips against his. Felix didn't reject. I felt embarrassed, maybe he did too. I was the reverse of the girl in the movie. She wanted love. I wanted friendship. I found love. She found friendship. We fell asleep. I dreamed of the sea.

* * *

_I do not own Hetalia. Both movies are not real. If they are, that would be very strange. _


End file.
